The Increadable "Flaming Ear"

Deep in the heart of the New Guinea rain forest, atop Mount Wanahokalugi, lives a strange and reclusive indigenous tribe of Wanahokalugi-ians. Only until recently, have their mysterious ways of life been studied and documented for the benefit of the entire modern world. And now, the secret of their amazing longevity is available here in the United States for a limited time. Act now, and you too can enjoy an average 117 year healthy Wanahokalugi-ian life span, for just 19 simple monthly payments of $89.95. Really, is 19 simple payments of $89.95 to much to ask for a longer, healthier, more satisfying life?

Borrowed from an age old Wanahokalugi-ian tribal custom, translated as "Ear Fire", "Exploding Ear", or "Hot Lava Ear", the secret to a longer, healthier, more satisfying life, is the revolutionary "Flaming Ear!" And now for a limited time offer, you too can insert a "Flaming Ear Stick" right into your ear when stressed, and let the toxic, life shortening, stressful chemicals explode out your ear, with dramatic hot balls of fire. You'll be amazed and dazzled at what comes out.

Don't believe us? Well, ask the Chris and Monica Patch Family of Salt Lake City, Utah. They've been doing "Flaming Ear" for only 2 weeks now, and have already noticed a big difference in their health.

(Monica Patch) ---- "I think its just wonderful!' 'I have so much more energy all the time!" "And really, a little bit of burnt hair here and there, and some large black soot spots on the ceiling aren't that big of a deal when compared with a longer life."

(Alison Patch) ---- "You know, being a teenager with the occasional zit can be pretty embarrassing, but "Flaming Ear" has really stopped my zits. And, all the Aloe-Vera for small facial burns has helped a ton also!"

(William Patch) ---- "My grades at school have really sky rocketed!" "My teacher has noticed a remarkable difference in my comprehension and retention of classroom curriculum." "Everything is going so much better, except I do lose my balance and fall down alot more these days."

Even close family friend, Steffie Williams is a true believer. (Steffie Williams) ---- "You wouldn't guess it, but I'm actually 49 years old." " But now, thanks to those cute little Wanahokalugi -ians, I look like I'm 27." "Thanks "Flaming Ear"!

So, remember "Flaming Ear", the once a week, fire in your ear, that burns away years of stressful life, a little facial skin and hair, and reveals a younger, happier more healthy you. Its a modern day Fountain Of Youth...., except its fire and not water. And, you can't actually drink it...., because its fire, and it would burn your mouth pretty bad if you did. But, it will make you younger like the fountain of youth, but with fire, and not water. So now, you too can have all of this for just 19 easy monthly payments of $89.95. Call today, before your ear fire burns out!

Thanks "Flaming Ear"!

Monica and Skiing..... I Fell In Love!!

Beginning at the age of 9, as I raced down my first bunny hill at Park City Ski Resort, skiing has become a life time passion for me. Its important! But is it important to the girl I will love? So after returning home from my mission, I begin hanging out with this girl, Monica Bennett from Cottonwood Heights. She is cute, nice and fun to be with, but the important question is, can she ski?

So when late in the ski season, the Wasatch Mountains get a fresh dumping of soft Utah powder, I decide to test my cute girlfriend's true appreciation for skiing. I take her to Alta Ski Resort, directly up the Sugar Loaf chairlift, and straight to the top of the "East Greeley" black diamond slopes. With perfect 2 to 3 feet of untouched powder conditions waiting, this is now the moment of truth. Will she "shrink" or will she "shred"? Honestly, how can I ever love a woman who doesn't share my intense passion for powder? I ask if she is ready, and she says "lets do this". Then, with one soft hop of her skis, she swooshes straight down the pristine powdery slope with perfectly carved "S's" like a hot Warren Miller ski babe. OH, MY, GOSH!!! She definitely shreds! And, she definitely shares my true appreciation for skiing!

At that very instant, at that exact moment in time, extreme love and passion collide perfectly inside my pounding heart and at that exact moment in time, I know that Monica must marry me and be my "Ski Shredding" wife. Right there, on that pristine powder filled Utah mountain, with perfect skiing movements, Monica inexplicably transforms from cute, nice and fun, to Hot, Saucy and and totally Wicked! That did it! And, ever since then, I have been completely smitten, and forever chasing her Hot, Saucy and totally Wicked tail down the Utah ski slopes.

So now Monica and I have the 4 little munchkins, and we take great care to raise them up correctly so they too may understand and appreciate the inner Need To Ski.

Oh, and if your inner skiing feeling is still lying dormant, here is a great Warren Miller clip to ring the alarm clock for you......., It's Time To Wake Up!