The Increadable "Flaming Ear"

Deep in the heart of the New Guinea rain forest, atop Mount Wanahokalugi, lives a strange and reclusive indigenous tribe of Wanahokalugi-ians. Only until recently, have their mysterious ways of life been studied and documented for the benefit of the entire modern world. And now, the secret of their amazing longevity is available here in the United States for a limited time. Act now, and you too can enjoy an average 117 year healthy Wanahokalugi-ian life span, for just 19 simple monthly payments of $89.95. Really, is 19 simple payments of $89.95 to much to ask for a longer, healthier, more satisfying life?

Borrowed from an age old Wanahokalugi-ian tribal custom, translated as "Ear Fire", "Exploding Ear", or "Hot Lava Ear", the secret to a longer, healthier, more satisfying life, is the revolutionary "Flaming Ear!" And now for a limited time offer, you too can insert a "Flaming Ear Stick" right into your ear when stressed, and let the toxic, life shortening, stressful chemicals explode out your ear, with dramatic hot balls of fire. You'll be amazed and dazzled at what comes out.

Don't believe us? Well, ask the Chris and Monica Patch Family of Salt Lake City, Utah. They've been doing "Flaming Ear" for only 2 weeks now, and have already noticed a big difference in their health.

(Monica Patch) ---- "I think its just wonderful!' 'I have so much more energy all the time!" "And really, a little bit of burnt hair here and there, and some large black soot spots on the ceiling aren't that big of a deal when compared with a longer life."

(Alison Patch) ---- "You know, being a teenager with the occasional zit can be pretty embarrassing, but "Flaming Ear" has really stopped my zits. And, all the Aloe-Vera for small facial burns has helped a ton also!"

(William Patch) ---- "My grades at school have really sky rocketed!" "My teacher has noticed a remarkable difference in my comprehension and retention of classroom curriculum." "Everything is going so much better, except I do lose my balance and fall down alot more these days."

Even close family friend, Steffie Williams is a true believer. (Steffie Williams) ---- "You wouldn't guess it, but I'm actually 49 years old." " But now, thanks to those cute little Wanahokalugi -ians, I look like I'm 27." "Thanks "Flaming Ear"!

So, remember "Flaming Ear", the once a week, fire in your ear, that burns away years of stressful life, a little facial skin and hair, and reveals a younger, happier more healthy you. Its a modern day Fountain Of Youth...., except its fire and not water. And, you can't actually drink it...., because its fire, and it would burn your mouth pretty bad if you did. But, it will make you younger like the fountain of youth, but with fire, and not water. So now, you too can have all of this for just 19 easy monthly payments of $89.95. Call today, before your ear fire burns out!

Thanks "Flaming Ear"!

Monica and Skiing..... I Fell In Love!!

Beginning at the age of 9, as I raced down my first bunny hill at Park City Ski Resort, skiing has become a life time passion for me. Its important! But is it important to the girl I will love? So after returning home from my mission, I begin hanging out with this girl, Monica Bennett from Cottonwood Heights. She is cute, nice and fun to be with, but the important question is, can she ski?

So when late in the ski season, the Wasatch Mountains get a fresh dumping of soft Utah powder, I decide to test my cute girlfriend's true appreciation for skiing. I take her to Alta Ski Resort, directly up the Sugar Loaf chairlift, and straight to the top of the "East Greeley" black diamond slopes. With perfect 2 to 3 feet of untouched powder conditions waiting, this is now the moment of truth. Will she "shrink" or will she "shred"? Honestly, how can I ever love a woman who doesn't share my intense passion for powder? I ask if she is ready, and she says "lets do this". Then, with one soft hop of her skis, she swooshes straight down the pristine powdery slope with perfectly carved "S's" like a hot Warren Miller ski babe. OH, MY, GOSH!!! She definitely shreds! And, she definitely shares my true appreciation for skiing!

At that very instant, at that exact moment in time, extreme love and passion collide perfectly inside my pounding heart and at that exact moment in time, I know that Monica must marry me and be my "Ski Shredding" wife. Right there, on that pristine powder filled Utah mountain, with perfect skiing movements, Monica inexplicably transforms from cute, nice and fun, to Hot, Saucy and and totally Wicked! That did it! And, ever since then, I have been completely smitten, and forever chasing her Hot, Saucy and totally Wicked tail down the Utah ski slopes.

So now Monica and I have the 4 little munchkins, and we take great care to raise them up correctly so they too may understand and appreciate the inner Need To Ski.

Oh, and if your inner skiing feeling is still lying dormant, here is a great Warren Miller clip to ring the alarm clock for you......., It's Time To Wake Up!

Rock Climbing Monkeys

Considering the fact that Monica and I witnessed a tragic rock climbing accident first hand, you would think there would be no way in "%#$@" we would let our children rock climb. Well, we do and our entire family loves it and we climb often. Now to be fair, After witnessing such a traumatic scene, Monica didn't let any of us climb for many years after. And, it wasn't until I joined the Salt Lake County Search and Rescue Team and learned rescue climbing that she started to soften. As I would learn new climbing techniques with Search and Rescue, I would practise with the family and slowly but surely, all of us have become great climbing monkeys.

When I think about it, there are a ton of favorite family memories that involve climbing type activities. For example, on summer weeknights, we often picnic at Ledge mere in Big Cottonwood Canyon with friends and family, and top rope climb the 60 ft. wall, adjacent our picnic table. Or, many times I have put up a high line from the top of our tree to the bumper or the Suburban so the kids can Zip down the rope. Then, there is the 4th of July tradition of dropping a 50 ft. rope from a Brighton Ski Resort Lift tower that sits on the side of a steep hill side and swinging the swing of a lifetime. We also enjoy canyoneering in Southern Utah when we can. Just a few weeks ago, Monica and I climbed 2 water fall areas in Escalante Canyon at Lake Powell with Friends and had a whomping good time. William and I even rappelled from the top or our house to paint the parts that were to high for ladders.

Our Monkeys are fun to watch and climb around with, so if you ever want to monkey around with us, just call anytime......... Seriously, Just call! We would love to go climbing with you!

"Sam Patch" is our family hero!

Our good friend, Mike Glenn, bought our family a book from a used book sale at the neighborhood library. It's entitled, "Sam Patch, the Big Time Jumper". Its a children's book written about a real man named Sam Patch, who made a living as a dare devil jumper in the early 1800s. His claim to fame was a historic jump off of Niagara Falls where he lived to tell the tail. And still to this day there is a plaque in his honor at Niagara Falls documenting his momentous jump. Pretty cool huh! my great, great, great, great, grandfather was the first guy to jump off Niagara and live.

Now days, our family has adopted this inspiring man as our unofficial favorite family heritage hero. The children take the book to school for "show and tell", they give book reports about the guy, and Monica even wrote his famous quote on our kitchen wall in vinyl, "Some things can be done as well as others." The quote serves as a constant reminder to us all about......, ah,..... about........, about what is most important in life.

Take a second, if you will, to really ponder these inspired words, and you too will soon learn its humble power to answer the toughest of life questions. For example, (Personal happiness) - Question - How can I find more happiness in my life? Answer - Some things can be done as well as others. Ah Yes! I understand! Or, (Financial issues) - Question - Do I take out a loan to buy a bigger home? Answer, Some things can be done as well as others. Yes! OK, Exactly! Then there are (Restaurant choices) - Question - Cafe Rio, or Burger King? Answer - Some things can be done as well as others. Yes! why didn't I think of this? It helps with (family priorities) - Question, -Mow the lawn and clean the house, or take the family to Lagoon? Answer - Some things can be done as well as others. This is amazing! Or, it can even keep the spark of love in (marriage) Question - Does this outfit make me look fat? Answer - Some things can be done as well as others!" Oh, I love You!!! It even works on simple every day situations like (shopping) - Question -Charman Extra soft three ply toilet paper for $8.95 or Western Family single ply toilet paper for 2.95? Answer - Some things can be done as well as others. Wow! its spooky how this pearl of family wisdom, brings all of life's greatest mysteries and greatest challenges into crystal clear definition and perspective!

I for one am happier, healthier, and have so much more meaning in my life, because this great man decided to go ahead and JUMP. So, I am forever grateful for Sam's courageous example, and his fearless zeal for life, and his willingness to defy death itself to inspire ordinary people like me.

Side note. . . . Tragically, Sam Patch died the very next year, while attempting a higher jump in Canada.

But that unfortunate mishap is besides the point. What matters is, the next time you are stuck with a impassable mountain of a decision, just remember Sam Patch, the 1st man to jump off of Niagara Falls and live. But more importantly, remember Sam Patch is the man who said, "Some things can be done as well as others!" And really, isn't that all that matters?

Monica and Great Grandmother "Armitta"

Did you know that Monica carries on a long family legacy of quilting? She does, and she's quite talented with her ability. In fact she teaches quilting classes in the evenings at Elaine's Quilt Block in Salt Lake City, and she designs and sells her own quilting patterns under the "Nellie"s Needle" brand name... (named after Monica's Grandmother Nellie Bennett from Heber, who also was a very talented quilter).

A few weeks ago Monica did something pretty cool. She bridged almost 100 years of time, to learn a quilt pattern originally peiced together by the hands of my great grandma Armitta in the early 1900s. Monica studied the antique quilt that was given to her by my mother,. . . that her mother, Grandma Ella gave to her,. . . that her mother, great grandma Armitta gave to her. Monica then designed and quilted an updated reproduction of that quilt with beautiful vivid colors. She appropriately named the quilt "Armitta's Melody", after great grandmother Armitta, and is now teaching quilting classes on this very beautiful family pattern. http://www.elainesquiltblock.com/

As you can see, Monica is a truly talented quilter, and I hope our girls will continue in this family legacy of quilting. It is a great expression of love and art. Now, every evening as the Patch family drifts off to sleep, they are wrapped in a beautiful, warm and cozy quilt made by their mother with lots of tender love and care.

"Dodger" the family dog.

We have a pet dog named "Dodger". He is a red Miniature Dachshund that is about the size of a large rat. We got him from our good friends Joe and Steffie Williams and have had Dodger for about a year and a half now, which is a family record for pet ownership.

Alison's bird died after 6 or 7 months from a overdose of M &M's one of the kids fed him. The goldfish died after 2 or 3 weeks. Who know why. William got a Black Lab. for his birthday that we kept for about 7 months and then returned to the Humane Society after he ate our outside telephone line wire, Rain bird sprinkler valves, sprinkler heads, a large portion of our wooden fence, some bicycles and, he exhumed Alison's dead bird that was resting in peace. We had Bull Frog tadpoles for about 3 weeks that died from their own ammonia poisoning because someone forgot to change their water. We had a cat for about 1 year that Alison became severely allergic to, so we gave her away. And finally we had 2 pet rats for about 4 months that didn't get along to well with each other because one dark cannibalistic evening, the one ate the other... much to the shock and awe of the family. The murderous survivor was quietly dropped into the Jordan river on a cold frozen winter night.

But Dodger, he has made it through this new family transition well and I think he is here to stay. He is very protective of the family but very lovable to the children. His very most favorite thing to do is burrow down under the children's bed covers at night and sleep under their feet.

So this is Dodger, our family dog.

My 1st Note

This is the celebratory first note for our family blog. I hope you find it fun to read and enjoy the family pictures.

In May, we took a tip from Greg and Janene Patch and planned a vacation to Havasupai AZ. This is William and Monica at Mooney Falls in Havasupai......Brad and Angela Bennett and family...... And William rope swinging like Tarzan. Havasupai is the coolest place on planet earth!